BACHELOR EPISODE 3

It's official. Everyone at work knows my well kept secret. It only took 6 months for them to figure me out.

I'm now officially the Bachelor aficionado. Tuesdays I am the most popular person in the office. Everyone wants to get my scoop on WHAT happened on the Bachelor the night before. Well, that's an exaggeration. They more so want to make sure that I haven't completely lost my mind and pulled all my hair out. And two people asking isn't exactly the whole office. Details.

Anyways. I know, I'm late. It's been two days since the Bachelor. But I've been working (shocking I know) and stewing over the last episode. For those of you who don't watch.. Shame on you. And stop reading, because you won't get this. I'm not good at providing the details behind the drama. I just want to talk about the juicy stuff. The drama. The anxiety-filled-fall-to-the-ground-in-my-dress-and-drink-17-glasses-of-water drama (too soon, Erika?). See? You're already lost. Seriously, stop reading you non-Bachelor watchers.

For my true friends the rest of you as Bachelor obsessed as I am…. Here's my two cents on Monday's episode:

• Why are Sally sash (aka Samantha), Blakely lover (aka Monica), and Who the heck are you (Casey) still on the show? Confusing.
• What is up with all the piano playing? I get it, Ben, it's hot. But stop already.
• Matt Nathanson = dreamboat.
• Courtney please stop talking. Well, I guess it's not really considered talking. Only responding to people in the same thing they just said but adding a question mark to the end of the sentence is not "holding a conversation". You'd actually have to say something of substance for that to happen.
• Bikini skiing in San Fran? Well many people may have been moaning and groaning about how patheticcc and lameee that is... I was adding it to my bucket list. Now I just need a fake snow machine.
• The whole Shawntel situation (yes this needs sub bullets)
• First: I liked Shawntel- despite her funeral director status- on the Bachelor, so I am a bit biased towards her BUT you know there are so many Bachelor/Bachelorette reunions, bar crawls, cruises, etc. And Ben and Shawntel have "talked extensively" which is code for "hooked up for a period of time". Duh.
• My prediction: Ben couldn't keep Shawntel for the show because the it would have caused a mass breakdown- yes bigger than the mini-breakdown. But after he and whomever he picks call it quits post show (I give it 4 months) I bet Shawntel is the FIRST person he calls up to mend his broken heart.
• I'm calling it now folks: 2015 Shawntel & Ben = couple alert.

So Ben, pick Kacie already and get this over with. I've got bigger things to think about. Like how Emily Maynard is the next Bachelorette dsafkjbdskfdbsaf;bds;fljbdsf.

Now:


Later:

SHAWNTEL EMILY BENTLEY OH MY

When I saw the news break that Emily Maynard is the next Bachelorette my exact words were "no ******* way. Rumor alert". But this rumor has turned out to be truth. The southern gal with a  heart of gold who politely asked people to "give her privacy" and claimed her and Brad broke up because of the pressure of the spotlight? There is no way this could be the same person. OH but it is. Emily is the next Bachelorette, according to People.com.

 AND to top it all off, one of her suitors is rumored to be….

 Bentley Williams-- the two faced jerk who walked all over Ashley H. dude from Ashley H.'s season who would tell her how much he liked her and then talk crap about her behind her back.

I seriously don't know if I can handle this. First Shawntel comes back this season. Now Emily is the next Bachelorette. And Bentley too???

 Someone get me a Xanax.

THE BACHELOR EPISODE 2

All I can say about this season of the Bachelor is: I HOPE that those folks who do casting for this show deserve a big. fat. raise (which the rumor is they are getting for the crazies they've roped in for this one).  Even though their ratings have reached a series low, I am watching this episode with tissues in hand for my tears & a paper bag for when I laugh too hard I hyperventilate.



There are too many highlights of this episode to recap but let me just give you some flavor:

• Not sure if ABC is out of $$ or what, but having all the ladies in Sonoma (Ben's home town.. wait we found out that's San Francisco. What gives?) and doing "normal" dates was halfway-refreshing to see. Not a single helicopter or celebrity singer in sight. Although plenty of baton twirling and locals.
• I've picked my winner (coughKacieBcough). And after this episode I think it's pretty clear who it's going to be. You can't fight the feeling, am I right, REO Speedwagon?
• Sidenote: Of course I could be completely wrong on this one- my accuracy for Bachelor predictions isn't the best- but I'd bet my half eaten Hersheys bar on this one.
• The group date proved to be ever dramatic and absurd. The biggest WFT moment:

Blakely went from wearing this (yes that is a child's romper inspired by Barbie):


to this:




And getting a rose (thanks to her assets).

• The second one on one is with "model" Courtney. Who the girls despise but Ben is convinced is too good to be true. Well, Benny Boy, she is too good to be true. One look at the video of her rubbing the rose all over her face and humming like she's in a scary movie and you'll go running for the door. At least I hope.
• And at the rose ceremony.. the girls unravel. And I'm not JUST talking about Jenna the unstable blogger from the Big Apple. There are others. Blakely has her hide-in-the-corner-behind-the-suitcases-moment and others talk a lot about horses, jugs & cougars (yes all in reference to Blakely). Samantha Sash squeezes her melons into something three sizes too small.. while referring to Blakely as "jugs". Simply ironic.

• Not to mention that the ceremony ends at 3 IN THE MORNING.Of course the girls are drunk. And tired. And can't walk on the cobblestone (hys-terical). They should make them walk in their sky-high stilettos on cobblestones everytime. They all look hunched over like they have a pole up their.. okay you know what I mean.
• Adios crazy Jenna. I can't wait to hear what you have to say on your blog. And Shawn (too normal for this show).

This season is proving to be one for the record books. At least if the record books are kept in a crazy house.

Who knows what else is going to happen.. a previous contestant comes back to "compete for Ben's heart", someone passes out (everyone loves the health drama), confessions, and lots of overaccessoried skimpy outfits.

I can't think of any way better to start 2012.

BACHELOR EPISODE 1 RECAP

If you asked me to sum up this episode in one word, I couldn't. It was dramatic (duh), full of tears, corny one-liners, awesome one liners, good first impressions and terrible ones, there was a horse, there was a love connection between two contestants (seriously watch it go down here), and a Grandma escorting her granddaughter....which got semi awkward when Ben was sitting in between the two.


Well I don't think anyone could have complained about the introduction to our Bachelor Ben. Sailing, working on his winery, riding a tractor, and then of course....playing "This Years Love" by David Gray on the piano.....so much better than Jake's "On The Wings of Love!" And in case you didn't hear the endless comments about his hair from the girls, it was looking good.


Then came the introduction to the girls. I will pick a few of my favorite stories/introductions (you can click on each name to get their bio on ABC):

• Lindzi, who was dumped by her last boyfriend via text which read: "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population you." Ouch. I wonder if he is still the one laughing now as she looked stunning, arriving on horse, and received the first impression rose.

• Even though Amber T didn't make the cut- the video montage of her on her own shooting range, eating beef nuts- AKA cow balls was an interesting way to introduce yourself to America, especially when she talked about how mushy they were.
• Kacie B is a sweet TN southern belle who has an adorable accent and is looking to find love similar to what her grandparents had for many years.
  
• Courtney is a model who thinks rings look good on her, specifically ones that are 2 carats because she deserves it. After Lindsay came riding in on her horse, Courtney said "Screw you and the horse you rode in on." She is very confident, almost arrogant, and looks like she will be portrayed to be Ms. Evil Knievel. During her one on one time with Ben, her conversation went a little something like this: "I am at the point in my life where I am a model...I like your hair." Awesome.
• Jamie- seems like a down to earth girl who took custody of her younger siblings at a young age due to her father leaving her and the mother having dependency issues.
  
• Lyndsie- I don't know how to describe her. She has a terrible British accent, has lived all over the world, can't stop talking (sort of like how I can't about this first episode), and had her introduction video consist of her in all these different outfits from all the countries she has lived in her entire life. Tried to get my hands on it and couldn't find it. She didn't make the cut.
  
• Shawn- You knew there had to be someone on there who had a kid, and Shawn is the one. She seems very down to earth, and loves her son Gavin. She had my vote when she brought out the soccer ball to play with Ben, which turned into a giant kickball game.
• Nicki- Nicki was called a "good hugger" by Ben at the rose ceremony, to which she replied "you better get used to it". When you look at her, you get a little bit of Sofia Vergara/Eva Longoria.
  
• Rachel- Her middle name is Rose...enough said! She also got my best dressed of the night. She seems to be the mediator already, trying to get rid of the drama between Monica and Jenna, which she seemed to fail at, but it was still quite entertaining.

Emily- This girl went for the kill. And by the kill, I mean already stole the first kiss from Ben right after stepping out of the limo- after making sure his hands were sanitized and that he had breath spray in his mouth....naturally because she is an epidemiologist. She is so passionate about it that she even wrote and rehearsed a rap for him about it, which I was quite impressed with. You can hear a remix of it here....even Ben liked it, giving her a standing ovation.

• Blakely- Blakely was the one who had this love connection with Monica. Not only that, but she had a giant tattoo on her arm that reminded me a bit of Kasey's "guard and protect your heart" tattoo that he got for Ali during her season, only hers had "Love is patient....love is kind" with a giant sword or heart or knife or shield....I don't know she lost me when she started talking.
  

• Monica- She didn't strike the right chord with Jenna, but that is probably because Jenna was drunk, actually hammered. Monica has an attitude right off the bat, and told Jenna she didn't know why she was there or if she was in love with Ben....which would make sense she she has known him for 4 minutes....but then the drama starts brewing.....and so does her love with Blakely. She had the best quote of the night, which was directed toward Blakely; "If you are the only thing I get out of this, I have lived. You know I have to get your number right?" YIKES!
  
• Last but not least.....Jenna! First off, she is a blogger. Her blogs name...."The Over-Analyst"....how fitting. Take a visit, or don't. For those of you that watch MTV's The Challenge, or ever watched the Real World, she is the Paula of the Bachelor. She is an emotional wreck right off the bat after having one too many, over analyzing everything that is happening, and even told Monica that maybe they could "share a tampon some time". She spent half the night in the bathroom crying, and then decided to show up to the rose ceremony late....awkward. But how nice of her to show up. This is her asking Monica about the tampon....and Monica surprisingly not excited about it.
  

Overall, Ben was impressed with the girls, making comments after some of the girls introduced themselves. Some of his reactions:

• To Courtney: "That is one pretty girl."
• To Lindzi: "I guess they save the best for last."
• To the Brunnetes: "I am loving the brunettes."
  

So my top 4 are....drumrollllll please......

Lindzi
Kacie B


Nicki


Rachel


Until next week!!!!!

CHRISTMAS TREES AROUND THE WORLD

Tis the season! Here are some images of Christmas trees from all over the world and a little story about each of them below each picture. Happy holidays!

Ahhhh, beautiful! This tree illuminates Old Town Square in Prague, which glows all over the manger display of the famous Christmas market. This tree was actually cut in the Sumava mountains in the Czech Republic.

Standing 223 feet tall, this tree can't be complete without fireworks, marking the occasion for the inaugural lighting in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

This is the Capitol Christmas tree in Washington, D.C, and it is decorated with 3,000 ornaments that are the handiwork of U.S schoolchildren. Encircling evergreens in the 'Pathway of Peace' represents each state in the U.S.

As a token of gratitude for Britain's aid during WWII, the Christmas tree in London's Trafalgar Square has been the annual gift of the people of Norway since 1947!

Nothing says chic like Paris, even their Christmas tree at la Galeries Lafayette. It has 10 stories of lights that supposedly draws in more visitors to the department store than the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower!

The neon display is projected on the exterior of the Grand Prince Hotel Akasaka in Tokyo.

The world's largest Christmas "tree" display rises on the slopes of Monte Ingino outside of Gubbio, in Italy's Umbria region. It has 500 lights connected by 40,000 feet of wire.

BATTLE OF THE EXES

Just when you thought MTV couldn't make The Challenge any juicier than it has been in the past...they prove us wrong. Mark your calendars for Battle of The Exes Challenge, January 25th, where past lovers/exes from Real World/The Challenge will be partnered up to compete for the $150k in the Dominican Republic. This looks verrrry verrrry interesting! Bring on the claws!

THE LUCKY ONE

At a recent outing to go see the movie "New Year's Eve", I saw the preview for "The Lucky One", another Nicholas Sparks book that will debut on the big screen next Spring, and it looks like another tear jerker! If you haven't read the book, it's a must if you don't mind shedding a few tears. Zac Efron is looking mightyyyyyy fine in this one, beg to differ??

RING THE ALARM

For anyone who has EVER set off a fire alarm at a college.....you can sympathize with this girl....right?? I can.

THE REAL GOLDEN GLOBES

After receiving her well deserved Golden Globe nomination for Supporting Actress on Modern Family, Sofia Vergara stepped out showing two golden globes of her own, and I am not talking about her famous front side golden globes....yikes! I am sure no one is complaining, but lets hope this doesn't become a trend....So note to self, if you wear leggings as pants, check your bum first!

DON'T DO IT!

Don't people understand that when you do a reality show with your significant other/hubby, things turn out just BAD. Proof: Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Ashlee Simpson and Ryan Cabrera, all the Housewives, most likely all the Mob Wives, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro, Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker, Linda and Hulk Hogan, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown....the list goes on and on. So why would our favorite ex-Bachelor contestant Melissa Rycroft do one with hubby of 2 years, Tye, not sure. But the couple will be starring in CMT's Melissa and Tye: A New Reality (of course produced by yours truly, Ryan Seacrest).

It is set to premiere in April- and will follow them along Melissa's move to LA as she pursues her Hollywood career while doing the whole long distance thing with her hubby. Best of luck. We are rooting for you. I am hoping they are already done filming considering the couple is still together, fingers crossed.